Awkward Dates
by Aviator Mage
Summary: A one-shot between Sollux Captor and a dear friend of mine. Yes, this is self-shipping, but I'm writing it for her, not her writing it for herself. Note: I am not part of the Homestuck fandom. If there are errors, I apologize, I did my best. I did quite a bit of research going into this. Please enjoy my mediocrity.


**twinArmageddons** : iit'2 ju2t a date a22hole!

 **carcinoGeneticist** : DATES MEAN *SEX* RIGHT? ARE YOU GONNA FUCK HER?

 **twinArmageddons** : NO II AM NOT GONNA FUCK HER YOU BIITCH

 **carcinoGeneticist** : WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GONNA DO THEN

 **twinArmageddons** : well iif you don't 2hutup we'll come over there and beat your a22!

Sollux Captor minimized the chatbox on his computer. Karkat was an asshole but he was a funny guy sometimes. The subject of debate was a date that he had just arranged with a friend from school. Sollux was an introvert, therefore dates didn't come his way much, so this had come as a surprise to him. The girl, whose name was Ashley, had actually taken the initiative and done the asking.

Sollux had blushed.

He had been speechless.

Fuck, he had had a crush on her, but he would have been the last person to have admitted it, and to find out that she shared the feelings had hit him like the proverbial train. But the question is...why is it a proverbial train? Why not like...a proverbial rock? Or a boat? Why does it have to be a proverbial _train?_ Sollux opened the chatbox again.

 **NEW MESSAGE:**

 **arsenicCatnip** : :33 aren't you gay?

Sollux smacked his desk. His computer mouse slid a few inches. Grabbing it, he clicked on the messager.

 **twinArmageddons** : WHAT THE FUCK NEPETA

 **arsenic Catnip** : :33 you're on the wall with Eridan, you're supposed to be gay with Eridan!

 **twinArmageddons** : II'M NOT GAY NEPETA

Irritated, Sollux closed the messaging system. He clicked open his list of games and scrolled down the long list. MMO's, Adventure Action games, Turn-based RPG's, two different MOBA games, a few Stealth games, and a few beta games he was helping test for a new developer. Sollux opened one of these and began going over some different aspects of the game, seeing if anything had changed after he had sent in his notes on the patch.  
He looked at the clock, slightly anxious. His date was at 6. Pausing his game, he looked around his room and stared at the mess. Sollux suddenly realized he hadn't picked something nice enough to wear to a date. What did people wear to dates? How fancy was it supposed to be? Casual Friday night or a Sunday morning church? Did he even own anything that nice? Sollux stood from his desk and and went to his closet. Inside was a mess of clothes and a few things hung up nicely. Looking around, he realized the nicest thing he owned was a collard shirt featuring the logo of his favorite pro gaming team for a MOBA game he liked. That would have to do. Sollux looked at the clock again. Forty minutes.

Sollux took a fast shower, then threw on the clothes he had picked. Black professional pants, a t-shirt underneath his collard shirt, and a red and blue checkered belt. He walked to the bathroom and looked at his hair in the mirror. Short and messy. Usually he did nothing with it, and he saw no reason to change the look, as Ashley saw him every day at school with usually the same hair. His headset messed it up anyway, why should he take time combing it out or brushing it when it would just be a waste?

His phone vibrated in his pocket. Sollux pulled it out and looked at the screen.

 **arsenicCatnip** : :33 gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Sollux deleted the message and put the phone away again after putting it on silent. There was no stopping Nepeta at times. Her and her goddamn shipping wall.

Anxious to leave, Sollux put his computers to sleep and turned off the lights in his room. He went downstairs to the front door and looked at the clock again. He'd been set on leaving in about five minutes. "Whatever," he said to himself, "five minuteth ithn't that big a deal." Sollux went out the door and locked it behind him. Looking out over the rest of his street, he noted the sun setting. It looked nice. But why was the sun yellow? Why couldn't it have been red, in better contrast to the blue sky? Or better yet, why not half red and half yellow?

Astronomy was dumb.

It took Sollux twelve minutes to walk to where he and Ashley had agreed to meet. She lived much further away and would be getting dropped off by her dad. The place they had chosen was an Italian restaurant Sollux had been to on occasion. He wanted familiarity in order to maintain a level of comfort between them. He stood outside waiting, watching the ground and not looking at anyone around him. Being a Thursday afternoon, it wasn't all too busy with people. This part of town was more heavily populated on the weekends.

It didn't matter to Sollux how busy it was. He pulled out his phone and browsed his social media.

Several long minutes later, He felt a tap on his right shoulder. He looked up. Nobody was there. Suddenly a voice immediately to his left surprised the hell out of him. "Hey nerd!" she said.

Sollux almost dropped his phone and he scrambled to put it back in his pocket and remain cool in front of his crush. "Hi Ath, what'th up?"

She was wearing a baby-blue dress that went down to her calves, with a matching purse, short heels, and her hair was down. She had nice hair. Sollux had complimented her on it more than once. She smiled at him. Ashley had such a sweet, adorable smile. Sollux blushed and looked away.

"Not too much. Why don't you take me inside so that something COULD be up and we're not standing out here like idiots?" Sollux smiled back at her, appreciating her sass to break the awkwardness.

"Well if you inthitht." he said. Sollux walked over to the restaurant and pulled open the door, feeling the sudden chill as the building's constant AC washed over him. Ashley stepped through onto the tile and Sollux followed, letting the door close behind him.

The interior of the restaurant was colorfully decorated. Fake vines ran up the walls, real plants were scattered around in plastic but well-decorated pots. A few large televisions were mounted high up on the walls like a typical sports bar. The windows had frames like vineyards. The tables and chairs were made of a lightly colored wood that contrasted well with the dark red carpet that began several feet inside the building.

"Yes please," Ashley said.

Sollux snapped out of his thoughts. "What?"

She bumped his arm with her fist. "The nice lady," she gestured toward her, "asked if we wanted a table for two."

Sollux blushed again. "Sorry...," Great, he fucked up once.

They followed the uniformed woman through the middle of the restaurant, weaving between tables. Lots of them were empty, it was a slow night. She lead them to a booth next to a half-wall. "I'll have a waiter come see to you shortly," she said as she placed menus on the table and walked away. Sollux and Ashley took seats on either side of the small table.

"I haven't been here in a couple years." Ashley said. She dropped her purse next to her on the seat.

"Really? I come pretty often. They do take-out too." Sollux pushed himself against the padded seat, irritated that the padding on the back only went up to his shoulder blades and then turned into paneled wood.

Ashley flipped open the menu. Sollux did the same, even though he already knew what he wanted. Cajun-style chicken with fettuccine pasta, his usual. "Shit-ton of pasta," Ashley pointed out.

"It ITH an Italian rethtaurant. Pathta ith kinda their thing." Sollux said with a sassy tone. Ashley looked at him through her glasses with an equally sassy expression on her face.

A waitress came to their table, a different woman this time She had aqua-blue hair. "Hi, can I start you off with some drinks?" she said with a sweet voice. She pulled a little notepad and a pen out of her breast pocket.

Ashley looked up from the menu. "Do you have lemonade?"

"Yes we do. And you sir?" The waitress looked at Sollux.

"Uh, Coke would be nice, thanks." he looked away quickly, pretending to find something interesting about the salt and pepper shakers on the table so as to avoid making eye contact.

"Okay, I'll be back with your drinks in a minute!" the waitress left them alone again.

Ashley looked at Sollux over her glasses. "Awkward around women?" she teased.

Sollux blushed. "N-no...I gueth? No. Not at all, of courthe not." Goddamn it, he swore in several violent sentences in his head for stuttering. She giggled. His heart skipped a beat. That was the most fucking adorable sound he had heard in a long time. His face warmed up, the blush turning brighter red every second.

Ashley learned closer to him over the table. "You're blushing dude."

"What? No I'm not!"

"You're also a trashy liar." She sat back against her seat.

"Oh pleathe," Sollux retorted. He looked across the restaurant, wondering where the drinks were.

"So how goes the beta-testing?" Ashley asked him. She gazed at him with her piercing eyes through

Sollux stared at her hands. She had done her nails. Black and blue. "It'th okay, I thuppothe."

"Come on, dickhead, you know I want details." She tapped her nails on the table.

Sollux felt his face growing hotter. "Well on Exile Legendth I found a bug in the main menu where if you hit the thettingth button it would fuck with the colorth once you went back to the main menu, no idea what the hell ith cauthing it but I mentioned it to the dev and he thaid he'd get on it but it'th been a week and I've theen no change and it'th pithing me off becauthe it makes the colorth THO wrong and you know how I am about colorth. And I REALLY wanted to be rude and mean in my latht email to the guy but I can't bring mythelf to tell him to hurry the fuck up and get the obviouth thtuff done." Sollux took a deep breath. That was a long, fast bit of talking.

Ashley shook her head. "You should kick his ass."

"Oho I'd LOVE to, trutht me." Sollux rubbed his hands over his face in irritation.

"Here you are!" The waitress had come back with their drinks. She handed the lemonade to Ashley and gave Sollux the coke. The stark contrast between the liquid colors enticed Sollux. The waitress bounced away to another table. Sollux sipped his drink, pulling the lemon off of the glass. Ew.  
"Tho what'th your favorite game?" he asked her.

"I sold my soul to the Assassin's Flame series. I have all the games, and I have a poster in my room," she sipped her lemonade. "What about you?"

Sollux thought for a moment. "I love the Circlet therieth, but I can't play any of the gameth becauthe they're made excluthively for contholeth. It bugth me. But on PC, Legendary Ancientth. That'th my favorite. I have almotht fifteen hundred hourth logged on it."  
"Impressive. I-"

Ashley was interrupted as the waitress returned. "Hi, are you ready to order?" she asked in a pleasant tone.

Ashley looked at Sollux, motioning for him to go first. "Can I get the fettuccine and cajun-chicken?"

"Of course!" she wrote it down on her notepad. "And for you, miss?"

"Uh...Can I get this?" Ashley held up her menu and pointed at a picture with a fancy italian name that Sollux didn't bother trying to pronounce.

"Ah yes, the _Sciusceddu_ _."_ The waitress wrote it down. "Do you want a soup or salad on the side?"  
Ashley thought for a second, then said salad. The waitress wrote it down and then promised he food would be ready shortly. She whisked away to another table. "What the hell did you order?" Sollux asked in confusion.

"No idea, but it looked like really good soup. And I'm down for trying new things today."

Sollux had a dirty thought but sent it away. "Well, I hope it's good, because I don't like sharing my pasta."

"Oh hell no, I don't like sharing either." Ashley sipped her lemonade. Sollux also went for his drink, but realized that over the last several minutes he had subconsciously drained his glass. Disappointed, he sighed and leaned against the headboard behind him.

His phone vibrated. Sollux pulled his phone out of his pocket and slid his finger across the screen. A message from Karkat blinked at the top. Preparing to be disappointed and humiliated, he tapped the message bubble. A line of text ran across his screen.

c **arcinoGeneticist:** DID YOU GUYS FUCK YET

Sollux slid his phone back in his pocket and pressed his hands against his forehead.

"Bad news?" Ashley inquired.

"Not really," Sollux said. "I just have some...irksome friends." He smiled at her. She smiled back.

"I know the feeling. I have more than a few friends like that. They-" she stopped as Sollux's phone vibrated again.

Sollux rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket again. This time it was Nepeta.

A **rsenicCatnip:** :33gay

Frustrated, he typed out a reply.

t **winArmageddons:** Would you kindly shut the fuck up

Sollux turned off the vibration and muted his phone. He was on a date, it was rude to interrupt it with petty bullshit. Wasn't it? Of course it was.

He resumed small talk about video games for a few minutes, when the food arrived. The waitress came back with two steaming dishes, the expected pasta for Sollux, and a large bowl of creamy yellow liquid set in front of Ashley. "I'll be back with your salad in a moment," the waitress added. She took their glasses as well, and returned shortly with the drinks in her hands and the salad plate balanced expertly in the crook of her elbow. Waitresses were experts in balance, Sollux noticed. He dug into the pasta.

At the end of the meal, he left enough cash for the bill and a ten dollar tip for the waitress. Ashley and Sollux left the restaurant together, each carrying the white styrofoam boxes containing their leftovers. Once outside, they sat down on a bench to wait for Ashley's dad. When he arrived, she turned to him. "Thanks Sollux, I had fun. We should do this again sometime." She smiled and giggled, which turned into quiet laughter when she saw Sollux turning beet red. "See you monday!" she waved as she strode toward her ride.

About twenty minutes later, Sollux arrived in his room again. Safe from the outside world and embarrassing facial expressions. The vault of badassery. He closed his door and flipped through his phone. Several text messages from his friends, largely from Nepeta, and one picture from Ashley, one of her rare selfies. He saved the image and sat down at his computer, turning up the volume on his headset as he slid it over his ears.

The speakers vibrated with the bass around his skull, just how he liked it.


End file.
